I started this blog in June of 2010 to keep our family and friends updated on doctor
appointments and my pregnancy. After Therese was born I thought everyone would
stop reading it. Even though “Baby Therese” was added to the Potter's Webring
over a year ago, I assumed no one would read it. I still visit the blog
occasionally to look at the pictures and video of our Little Angel. Today,
while doing so, I realized I could view the blog traffic, frequency and date. I
was so surprised to see that people are still viewing “Baby Therese” (mostly
through the Webring)! It really shouldn't surprise me, I guess. After doctors
gave us the terrible news, I was constantly on the internet reading about Potter's
Syndrome. Obviously others are doing the same thing. With that in mind, I
wanted to give a quick update on the last two years.
After Therese was born, Jason and I knew it would be months before we could
even talk about having another baby. You can imagine our surprise (shock, fear
and even anger) when, just before Thanksgiving, I found out I was pregnant. As
if the holidays weren't going to difficult enough, now we were also terrified
that we were going to lose another child. We made the decision not to tell
anyone about my pregnancy. We just weren't ready to have all the baby
conversations - "How are you feeling? How is the baby doing? What did the
doctor say?" The first week of January, less than five months after
Therese was born; I went to the doctor for another routine checkup. It was my
eleventh week and we decided we would tell our family after twelve weeks. Up to
this point my pregnancy was going well.
As
soon as the doctor looked at the ultrasound, I knew something was wrong. That’s
when she told me there was no heartbeat.
Part of me felt so guilty. When the pregnancy test was positive back in
November I wasn't ready to go through another pregnancy - the worry and fear. I
felt like we lost the baby because we weren't happy about it. In my brain I
know that's not true, but I can't seem to convince my heart, even now, nearly
two years later.
My doctor told us that
he didn’t think this miscarriage had anything to do with Therese’s condition
but he wanted to make sure.
He ordered a
series of blood work on both Jason and I.
He also did a scope on me to see if there was something structural that
caused the miscarriage.
It took a few
months to get everything done, but all the results came back great.
Doctors couldn’t find anything that caused
Therese’s condition or the miscarriage.
We
were so relieved to hear there wasn’t anything wrong with either one of
us!
In a way, it was even scarier to
know that both pregnancies were just a case of “bad luck” - there was nothing
we or doctors could do.
How much longer
would our bad luck last?
Would we ever
have a healthy baby or would we give up before that day ever arrived?
A few months later, in the summer of 2011 we
decided we were ready to swallow our fear and try again.
On August 16, 2011, Therese’s first birthday, I took a pregnancy test.
My period wasn’t “late,” but I knew there was
a chance I could be pregnant.
I was
disappointed, but I knew it was still a little early.
A few days later, I took another test –
POSITIVE!
We were excited and terrified
at the same time.
After the first
trimester, we made the announcement.
We
were so relieved to make it past that first milestone, but we knew the biggest
hurdle would come in another six weeks.
I
was eighteen weeks when we found out about Therese’s condition during a regular
appointment with my OB.
Tuesday December 6, 2011, the same specialist that we went to while I was
pregnant with Therese, performed the 20 week anatomy scan.
Although my regular OB told us everything was fine a couple of weeks earlier, this doctor would be able to give us more information about the baby. During the ultrasound, the technician pointed
out how much amniotic fluid was around the baby.
She also showed us the functioning kidneys
(you could see the blood flowing to/from).
When the doctor came in to look at the baby he assured us everything
looked perfect!
He also confirmed what
my OB had told us a few weeks earlier – we were having another little girl.
We were thrilled with what the doctor told
us, but we were still terrified.
It was
almost inconceivable that we would actually be coming home with a healthy baby.
We couldn’t even talk about baby names until
January.
One Sunday, while sitting in
church, Jason was flipping through the missal, he noticed that Saint Elizabeth
Ann Seaton’s Feast Day was a few days later.
He pointed at the page and looked at me.
We both knew that was the perfect name for our little girl.
I really struggled with the idea of getting the nursery ready.
After Therese was born I kept thinking about
how much more difficult it would have been to come home from the hospital to a
house full of baby clothes, toys and furniture, but no baby.
I didn’t want to start getting ready for
Elizabeth if we weren’t going to come home from the hospital with a little girl.
Before we found out about Therese’s condition,
my step-mom and I picked out the cutest “Winnie the Pooh” fabric for the
nursery.
She took everything home with
her to make the curtains, crib skirt and bumper pad.
Then, the following week, we found out we
wouldn’t be decorating a nursery after all.
Even though I hadn’t seen the fabric in nearly two years, I knew I
wanted to use it for Elizabeth’s room.
Next
I ordered her furniture and my mom painted the nursery.
The last six weeks my step mom painted Pooh
murals on the walls, the furniture came in (everything except the crib) and I
had two different baby showers – whew! Everything was ready (almost)!
